Kickball Express

USC Kickball (U SCK) is never cancelled due to bad weather. Just like the United States Postal Service's old motto goes, "Neither Snow nor Rain nor Gloom of Night, nor Midterm, nor Project, nor Facebook, nor Hangnail, nor any other Lame Excuse, stays these Kickballers from Playing a Silly Elementary School Game Every Week" (the USPS's new motto is "When you're just too cheap to use FedEx.")

Unlike the USPS back when they had their old motto and used ponies to get to McCarthy Quad, we have a kickin' 1983 Toyota station wag... I mean, uh, fancy limousine to get us there. By my calculations, this gives us nearly EIGHT TIMES as many horsepower as one of those dumb Pony Express riders (this is using Newton's 4th Law of Phonidynamics, 1 Pony = 1 Horsepower).

Seriously. If you want a ride, let the Kickball Unbelievably Überamazing Limousine (KUÜL) service know. Call (323) 363-1179, or email kickball@usc.edu. For more info, visit The KUÜL info site.

ALSO: When I was looking up that quote, I came across this picture of the Pony Express route (courtesy of the "Save image to disk..." function in my web browser, and the National Park Service, which does not know I have this):

Not wanting to be one-upped (Super Mario World type 1-ups are okay) by the National Park Service's weak photoshop skills, I used my OWN weak photoshop skills to come up with this:

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