10/26/05: What better way to celebrate Halloween than with a spoooooky... uh... Haikuuuu contest? Probably every other way imaginable, but who cares? Here's the deal: Come up with a kickball-related haiku and email it to kickball@usc.edu .
The best entries, as judged by the kickball officers, will be published on our website. Actually, all entries will be published on our website, but the best entries will have top billing and perhaps will be featured in some EXTREME color. Like red.
Here's a few I came up with during a rare slow period at work today:
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We want a pitcher in lieu of belly itcher But we will make do |
go away, drunkies you are getting in the way frat boys are 10 points |
I kick after Jon Meg and Remi just went twice who the hell is up? |
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Where is second base? the shortstop looks suspicious. I think he ate it |
I forgot to feed my cat before coming here now i feel guilty |
Kick me, beneath the milky twilight-- Nevermind. that sounds quite painful. |
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If you are last picked, please refrain from eating worms You might catch the plague. |
Ghost runner on first is taunting the third baseman Who ya gonna call? |
"Who's on first?" he asks, squinting in the blazing sun. Dummy. it is night. |
--Aaron
11/16/05: The results are in! The kickball officers (kofficers) voted on the best Kickball Haikus (kickus). They are as follows (as follows):
Best Analogy. Well, actually not.
Monica Adj.
Kickball is like sex
well, actually it isn't.
Kickball has one ball.
Best poetic use of "donkey nuts"
Garen T. Firefly
"You are all cheating!"
I foam, with murderous glee
"Suck my donkey nuts!"
Best haiku that might have had a chance if only the author weren't a judge and it wasn't turned in two weeks late
Kalisa Falzone
No fair, Diana!
Haiku contest is over
damn, I wrote good ones.
Best attempt at flattery (and/or sarcasm?) to try to win
Rishi Arora
aaron and kickball
that sounds like a fun night, right?
yeehaw, i can't wait
Best apostrophe placement
Meredith Jung
Another meeting.
Another plan. A kickball
game I miss'd. Goddamn.
Best tirade against that guy who came to watch us play and then left his trash on the ground. Bastard.
Anonymously Diana, who also cannot win because she is an officer
Litter man with cell
You talk on phone with mommy
No kickball for you!
Best highbrow haiku
Amanda Kelly
Paper distraction
Puritans or McCarthy?
Not Joseph, the quad
Best use of self-reflexive postmodernism
Shawn Drost
my kickball haiku
I doubt it will be too short
but it might be too
Best misspellign
Garen T. Spaulding
The soft spoken moon
Glistens rather peacefully
On our lilly group
Best haiku written in the U.K., a magical land where people enjoy adding extra "U"s in words like "color"
Laura Schneiderman
Kickball- without you,
even though you're just a game,
life isn't the same.
Saddest set of haikus
Tim Nayar
Unable to be
Near wonderous kickball games
My major eats lives
Here stuck in Leavey
Where bull's crap and essays meet
I pay much for this
Best confused poet
Garen T. Flakfizer
We all play "catch ball"
To try to kill other team
Have I got this right?
Editor's Note: Yes.
I love to pummel
My opponents in the head,
Groin, or even breast
Best haiku involving canine friend (woofie)
Amanda Kelly
I brought my doggie
He was hit with a kickball
Poor Doctor Bunsen
Best casting of blame
Anonymous Diana
No peace in outfield
When sprinklers moisten my game
Damn Steven Sample
3rd place (note EXTREME color, as promised)
Peter Safonov
Scooby ball is gone
Shad kicked it into a tree
It was impaled there
Editor's Note: It was in fact Brian who popped our precious ball in the tree. Shad kicked it onto the roof.
2nd place
Tim Nayar
Oh sweet kickball games
I live vicariously
Through the feet of peers
1st place
(drum roll please)
(not so loud)
Click here for result
© 2005 Aaron Kositsky & USC Kickball Club.