Mission

Zap Chair Inc. promises to deliver the best value and quality to our consumers for their work and office chair needs. We promise to uphold the standards set by the founder of the company, Sir Buzz Killington III, when he was the only manufacturer of electrical chairs in the year 1896. We have come so far, yet the basic technology remains the same. We promise that your Zap Chair will be comfortable to sit on and will decrease the amount of time wasted sleeping. We also promise the electrical current will be mildly numbing, yet tolerable. If harm is caused, we offer a 100% money-back guarantee. We are not liable for medical expenditures, however, as buying one of our products contractually eliminates this responsibilty from our hands.

 

Please visit our best friends (i.e. corporate affiliates whom we have multi-million dollar contractual obligations to):

  • Craigslist: Buy new or used Zap Chairs from potentially murderous criminal minds or impoverished college students looking to make a buck or two.
  • eBay: Buy new or used Zap Chairs from internet-savvy sellers or corporate conglomerates looking to make a few million bucks or two.
  • Google: Search for Zap Chair deals via Skynet... I mean, Google.
  • USC: Visit the number one bulk buyer of Zap Chair products and see how great academically they have become in the past decade.
  • NBC: Visit the network that buys many of our products and uses them on shows such as The Office, Parks & Recreation, and Community.
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